Woman knocks on ex's door after suspicious feeling and whole world crumbles

Alice thought she was rekindling a lost romance when she reconnected with Mark, a childhood friend and former schoolmate. Instead, she became the victim of a devastating romance fraud that cost her £42,000 and left her emotionally shattered.

Unlike most romance scams, which begin online between strangers, Alice, a solicitor from Shropshire, knew her fraudster personally. She and Mark, not their real names, had once dated briefly in their twenties, shared dozens of mutual friends on Facebook, and had exchanged occasional birthday greetings over the years.

Their renewed connection began in October 2020, when Mark started messaging her regularly. They bonded over shared memories, tastes in music and food, and soon met in person at a pub they had frequented as teenagers.

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"It was amazing. It was like my youth was back," Alice told the BBC. "We had a shared history. I felt completely at home with him."

Their relationship developed quickly. Mark met Alice's friends and family, and she trusted him completely.

So when he confided that he was struggling with business debts due to the coronavirus pandemic, she didn't question it. He even showed her threatening messages to back up his claims and said he couldn't bring her to his home for safety reasons.

"He made it very clear that he needed help," she said. "I was essentially in a position where I wanted to save him."

By April 2021, Alice had loaned him £20,000. As a solicitor, she took the precaution of formalising the loan in writing and verifying that Mark was in the process of selling his property to repay her. But the sale never materialised - and neither did the repayments.

Over time, the amount she lent him ballooned. Alice paid for everything from rent and clothes to medical treatments and therapy sessions. She even covered the cost of a car and funded trips to Wimbledon and Croatia. She was there for Mark emotionally, and he was even by her side when her grandfather died.

But behind the scenes, Mark was living a double life. In October 2023, after lending him a total of £57,000 - of which he had only repaid £14,000 - Alice ended the relationship over the phone. Feeling suspicious, she drove to Mark's house for the first time. There, she encountered a woman she recognised as Mark's supposed ex, Julie, standing in the driveway with Mark's dog, whose vet bills Alice had paid.

Julie told Alice to leave and warned her not to return, accusing her of stalking. Mark had reportedly told Julie a completely different story. When Alice insisted she could prove their relationship, Julie threatened to call the police.

Alice's final meeting with Mark took place in a supermarket car park, where he claimed he had cancer and had gone back to Julie for emotional support. But when Alice spoke with a neighbour, the truth emerged: Mark had been living with Julie the entire time.

"For the whole period he was with me, promising a life together, he was going home to her every day," Alice said.

The couple moved out shortly after Alice's confrontation. Their landlady later confirmed that Mark still owed her five months' rent.

Alice reported the matter to police in December 2023, but was initially told it was a civil matter and that no crime had been committed. Undeterred, she sought help from Love Said, a charity supporting victims of emotional and financial abuse.

Co-founder Anna Rowe told the BBC that many police forces lack awareness of "in-person" romance fraud, often dismissing it or shaming the victims.

With the charity's support, Alice filed a report with Action Fraud. "They asked, 'Are you saying this man deliberately entered a relationship to get your money?' And I said, 'Yes, I am.’”

On the anniversary of their breakup in 2024, Alice received a £120 bank transfer from Mark. He reportedly told investigators he plans to repay the debt monthly - meaning it would take him 30 years to clear, by which time Alice will be 80.

Detective Inspector Daniel Fenn, from West Mercia Police's economic crime and cyber unit, said romance fraud cases are often complex and emotionally charged. "We have trained officers dedicated to tackling fraud and additional resources in place to investigate these types of crimes,” he said.

But for Alice, the damage is already done. She says it's not just about the money, as the scammer also stole "my trust, my love, my future".

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